you and your SEXUALITY!!

The teen years are exciting. They also can be confusing. Your body is changing. You are dealing with new feelings. You also may be starting to notice your own sexuality and may want to express it. Forms of sexual expression can range from holding hands, to hugging and touching, to kissing, to having sexual intercourse or other forms of sex.

Your Sexuality
Sexuality is a basic human condition. It can affect the way you look, feel, and act. Understanding the changes you are going through makes it easier to cope.

Physical Changes
Some time between the ages 8 and 10 years, most girls' bodies start to change. This time of change is called puberty. As you reach puberty, a part of your brain tells your sex glands, the ovaries, to start working. The sex glands then signal other parts of your body to start to grow. These signals are carried by hormones. Hormones make your body change and start looking more like an adult. Over time, the following changes will occur:

• Your breasts grow
• Your hips grow wider
• You gain weight and grow taller
• You grow hair under your arms and around your genitals
• You get your first menstrual period
• You may get acne
• You start to ovulate

Boys' bodies also change during puberty. These changes happen when their testes start working. This usually occurs between the ages 12 and 14 years:

• Their testes and penis get bigger.
• The hair on their bodies grows thicker
• They start to grow hair on their faces, under their arms, and around the genitals
• Their voices get deeper
• Their testes begin to make sperm
• They may get acne

Emotional Changes
During your teen years, the hormones that cause the sex organs to grow and function also cause strong feelings, including sexual feelings. You may get these feelings for someone of the other sex or the same sex. Thinking about sex or just wanting to hear or read about sex is normal.

Homosexuality and Bisexuality
Many teens wonder, "Am I gay or lesbian?" Things they have done — holding hands with a friend of the same sex, looking at or touching each other's genitals — may make them worry and even feel guilty. These activities are normal in growing girls, and physical affection is common among many women. Many boys and girls are attracted to members of their own sex during puberty.

Homosexuality (or "being gay or lesbian") is being emotionally and sexually attracted to a person of the same sex. Bisexuality is being attracted to both sexes. Being homosexual is not a choice a person makes or something that can be changed. If you think you may be homosexual or bisexual and feel confused or unhappy, talk to someone you know well and can trust.

Sex
During sexual intercourse, or vaginal sex, the boy's hard penis goes into the girl's vagina and moves in and out. This can lead to orgasm. Orgasm also can occur during oral sex or masturbation. During vaginal sex, when a boy has orgasm, he spurts semen, which contains millions of sperm into the girl's vagina. The sperm can swim up into the uterus and then a fallopian tube where one can fertilize an egg. If the couple isn't using any birth control, the girl can become pregnant.

Some birth control methods, such as a latex condom, help prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

Other Forms of Sexual Expression
Touching or rubbing your own genitals (clitoris and vagina in girls and penis in boys) can give you pleasure. This is known as masturbation. It can help you learn what kind of touch makes you feel good. Masturbation can let you enjoy your sexuality without having sex with another person before you are ready.

Oral sex is when one partner's mouth comes into contact with the other partner's genitals. Although this form of sex does not cause pregnancy, it can spread STDs. Some teens believe it is not really sex and do not protect themselves. This behavior increases the risk of getting an STD.

Another form of sex is anal sex, in which the penis is placed into the other partner's anus. This form of sex also does not cause pregnancy, but it can greatly increase the risk of getting an STD, including human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) infection. Anal sex can cause tiny tears in the anus. A virus or bacteria causing the STD may enter the body through these tears and spread or sperm may leak into the vagina when the penis is withdrawn.

Making a Decision to Have Sex
Ask yourself what your feelings are about sex. Are you really ready for sex? If you are dating, do you know how the other person feels about sex? Make up your own mind about when is the right time to have sex. Do not have sex just because:

• You think everyone else is
• You think it will make you more popular
• You are talked into it
• You are afraid the other person will break up with you if you do not
• You feel that it will make you a "real" woman

If you are not ready for sex, say so, and stick to your decision. It is okay to say "no." If the other person truly cares about you, he or she will respect your decision.

If someone tries to pressure you into having sex, say no.

You should not feel pressure to have sex with someone, even if the person is an adult. Do not be afraid to forcefully say no on a date. Be aware that using alcohol or drugs may cause you to lose consciousness or that rape can occur.

Finally... Being a teen can be both exciting and confusing. You face many decisions. To be sure you make the right ones, talk with someone you trust — your parents, your doctor, a teacher, a school counselor, or a coach — if you have questions.

Teenagers, like adults, may experience stress everyday and can benefit from learning stress management skills.

Most teens experience more stress when they perceive a situation as dangerous, difficult, or painful and they do not have the resources to cope.

Some sources of stress for teens might include:

• school demands and frustrations

• negative thoughts and feelings about themselves

• changes in their bodies

• problems with friends

• unsafe living environment/neighborhood

• separation or divorce of parents

• chronic illness or severe problems in the family

• death of a loved one

• moving to a new community

• changing schools

• taking on too many activities or having too high expectations

• family financial problems

Some teens become overloaded with stress. When it happens, inadequately managed stress can lead to anxiety, withdrawal, aggression, physical illness, or poor coping skills such as drug and/or alcohol use.

When we perceive a situation as difficult or painful, changes occur in our minds and bodies to prepare us to respond to danger. This "fight, flight, or freeze" response includes faster heart and breathing rate, increased blood to muscles of arms and legs, cold or clammy hands and feet, upset stomach and/or a sense of dread.

The same mechanism that turns on the stress response can turn it off. As soon as we decide that a situation is no longer dangerous, changes can occur in our minds and bodies to help us relax and calm down. This "relaxation response" includes decreased heart and breathing rate and a sense of well being.

Teens who develop a "relaxation response" and other stress management skills feel less helpless and have more choices when responding to stress.

Parents can help their teen in these ways:

• Monitor if stress is affecting teen's health, behavior, thoughts, or feelings.

• Listen carefully to teens and watch for overloading.

• Learn and model stress management skills.

• Support involvement in sports and other pro-social activities.

Teens can decrease stress with the following behaviors and techniques:

• Exercise and eat regularly.

• Avoid excess caffeine intake which can increase feelings of anxiety and agitation.

• Don't use illegal drugs, alcohol and tobacco.

• Learn relaxation exercises (abdominal breathing and muscle relaxation techniques).

• Develop assertiveness training skills. For example, state feelings in polite, firm, and not overly aggressive or passive ways ("I feel angry when you yell at me" "Please stop yelling").

• Rehearse and practice situations which cause stress. One example is taking a speech class, if talking in front of a class makes you anxious.

• Learn practical coping skills. For example, break a large task into smaller, more attainable tasks.

• Decrease negative self talk. Challenge negative thoughts about yourself with alternative neutral or positive thoughts. "My life will never get better" can be transformed into "I may feel hopeless now, but my life will probably get better if I work at it and get some help."

• Learn to feel good about doing a competent job rather than demanding perfection from yourself and others.

• Take a break from stressful situations. Activities like listening to music, talking to a friend, drawing, writing, or spending time with a pet can reduce stress.

• Build a network of friends who help you cope in a positive way.

By using these and other techniques, teenagers can begin to manage stress.

If a teen talks about or shows signs of being overly stressed, a consultation with a child and adolescent psychiatrist or qualified mental health professional may be helpful.

Helping Suicidal Teens

People who are depressed and thinking about suicide often show changes in their behavior. These changes in behavior are usually an outgrowth of depression and are warning signs. If your teen shows these warning signs, please talk to her about her concerns and have her get help if the warning signs continue.

• Noticeable changes in eating or sleeping habits
• Unexplained, or unusually severe, violent or rebellious behavior
• Withdrawal from family or friends
• Running away
• Persistent boredom and/or difficulty concentrating
• Drug and/or alcohol abuse
• Unexplained drop in the quality of schoolwork
• Unusual neglect of appearance
• Drastic personality change
• Complaints of physical problems that are not real
• A focus on themes of death
• Giving away prized possessions
• Talking about suicide or making plans, even jokingly
• Threatening or attempting to kill oneself

Before committing suicide, people often threaten to kill themselves. These threats should always be taken seriously, as should previous suicide attempts. Most people who commit suicide have made at least one previous attempt.

Asking your teen whether he is depressed or is thinking about suicide lets him know that someone cares. You're not putting thoughts of suicide into his head. Instead you're giving your teen the chance to talk about his problems.

Remember that depression and suicidal feelings are treatable mental disorders. The first step is to listen to your adolescent. A professional must then diagnose your teen's illness and determine a proper treatment plan. Your teen needs to share her feelings, and many suicidal teens are pleading for help in their own way. Your teen needs to feel that there is hope–that people will listen, that things will get better, and that she can overcome her problems.

Parents and friends can help a depressed teen through the following strategies:

• Talk, ask questions, and be willing to really listen. Don't dismiss your teen's problems as unimportant. Parents and other influential adults should never make fun of or ignore an adolescent's concerns, especially if they matter a great deal to her and are making her unhappy.
• Be honest. It you're worried about your teen, say so. You will not spark thoughts of suicide just by asking about it.
• Share your feelings. Let your teen know he's not alone. Everyone feels sad or depressed at times.
• Get help for your teen and yourself. Talk to your pediatrician, teacher, counselor, clergy, or other trained professional. Don't wait for the problem to "go away." Although feelings of sadness and depression can disappear as quickly as they came, they can also build to the point that an adolescent thinks of suicide as the only way out. Be careful not to assume that your teen's problems have been so easily solved.

A teen attempting suicide should immediately be taken to a hospital emergency room for a psychiatric evaluation. If a depressed adolescent is assessed to be safe to go home, it's a good idea to remove from your home any lethal, accessible means to commit suicide, such as medications, firearms, razors, knives, etc.

"Thinking of YOU"

Something rests on the brow of the dawn As doe leaps and bounds with her fawn A bird take flight into the arms of the wind As God looks down on two-legged, feathered and finned. I sit here in my sanctuary of mortar and stone And listen to the gentle sirens as they moan Lost in my thoughts as I watch time pass by, As I sit here wishing I could find the strength to cry. In my mind something smiles through the loss. I shake my pain off my mind, with a gentle toss. And my heart takes a leap into the sun And my eyes fill with tears , in worship of the fun. Not all is good in this world of mine. But I find love is my silver line. A smile will pick me up and carry me through, And keep me safe until I can next be with you.

"My so-called Inspiration"

A day full of unforgettable experience. It was a cloudy day of July 05,2007. We were having an expo at NCCC Mall at Ma-a, Davao City. Third and Fourth year student were to join this event. But unfortunately, we have a class that afternoon (differential calculus)

and we're having a quiz for our past topic. Unexpectedly, we force our teacher to moved our quiz the next meeting (long quiz!!!). We thought that the so-called event was a symposium about animation (there was but we couldn't hear nor understand what the speaker was talking about! what a forum that was!). Still we join this forum to learn other things and skill in our course. The event was full of surprises--game events, raffles, and give aways(USB!!). The most unforgettable that happen to me was this-- we were at this forum and we, friends sat side by side along with the boys(regular STUDENTS). I have a crush (one of my classmate sitting beside us)but it was 2yrs ago that I have that feelings for him. Before I could realize what I'm feeling that time--we were fooling around(teasing others, joking around and gossiping). One time when he look at me, I feel a little shiver..as if I was at the winter wonderland(hahaha..)--I automatically ignore what I noticed to myself. I was actually feeling silly because of the atmosphere. Every time our eyes met I always pause(daydreaming???)and eventually avoid. I'm feeling paranoid at that time. Now, I'm always avoiding his way--even looking at his eyes. I feel like my thoughts is being read by him. The day I realize I haven't forgotten that I still have a big crush on him.. Oh! God...Help me..(*_*)

me, myself and I

its been awhile that I experience paranoia. I haven't thought of planning for the future..Actually I haven't thought of it yet. I'm still enjoying every bit of my youthfulness. But this suddenly struck me, I realized I'm a college student trying every inch of me to pursue what I dream since I was young. And pursuing it will be the greatest achievement in my whole life. I may not be intelligent and spontaneous to everything but I'm willing to do anything just to have this goal in my life. I will face every challenges and trials that will come to me. I know God is always there to guide me. My family is always there supporting me...